Innocence

The innocence is gone-
It has fled from them and me.
It has vanished,Never to return.
In this lifetime

It is gone from us,
Those who have it, cherish it,
It goes quickly and quietly
And we never know that it is gone,
Until it's too late.

Me and My friends : Aruna Archana Savitha Santhosh and Me :)

S O R R Y.......

nan kansalli barthini sorry..nan malgodilla sorry...

nan ee haadina bagge baryoke hortilla...nan baritha irodu nav dina upyogso ee padada bagge....adakke belene ildale irodra bagge..


evattu nan sorry kelodu

• ...nan nenne madida tappigagi alla.....nan madbkagiro tappige dari madkotha iddini ashtey..
• ...nan nin mansige nov madiddakke alla....innond sari ning nov madbeku andre ninna matadisbeku...mathadsoke..ee sorry heLodu ond nepa ashey...
• ...nan madid tapp na tidkothini antha alla....innu tappu madthane irthini antha ning tilsoke...

ishtella nan bardru neen innu nan hathra sorry expect madthidre.......I am really really sorry ;)

The best fwd I ever received!

9th grade :
As I sat there in English class,
I stared at the girl next to me.
She was my so called 'best friend'.
I stared at her long, silky hair,
and wished she was mine.
But she didn't notice me like that,
and I knew it. After class,
she walked up to me and asked me for
the notes she had missed the day before.
I handed them to her.
She said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know
that I don t want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.

11th grade
The phone rang. On the other end,
it was her. She was in tears,
mumbling on and on about how! her
love had broke her heart.
She asked me to come over because
she didn't want to be alone, So I did.
As I sat next to her on the sofa,
I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine.
After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie,
and three bags of chips, she decided to go home.
She looked at me, said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss
on the cheek..
I want to tell her, I want her to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don t know why.

Senior year
One fine day she walked to my locker.
"My date is sick" she said, "hes not gonna go" well,
I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade,
we made a promise that if neither of us had dates,
we would go together just as 'best friends'.
So we did. That night, after everything was over,
I was standing at her front door step.
I stared at ! her as She smiled at me
and stared at me with her crystal eyes.
Then she said- "I had the best time, thanks!"
and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her,
I want her to know
that I don t want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.

Graduation.
A day passed, then a week, then a month.
Before I could blink, it was graduation day.
I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel
up on stage to get her diploma.
I wanted her to be mine-but
she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.
Before everyone went home,
she came to me in her smock and hat,
and cried as I hugged her.
Then she lifted her head from my shoulder
and said- 'you're my bes! t friend, thanks' and
gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know
that I don t want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.

Marriage.
Now I sit in the pews of the church.
That girl is getting married now.
and drive off to her new life,
married to another man.
I wanted her to be mine,
but she didn't see me like that,
and I knew it.
But before she drove away,
she came to me and said 'you came !'.
She said 'thanks' and kissed me on the cheek.
I want her to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.

Death.
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin
of a girl who used to ! be my 'best friend'.
At the service, they read a diary entry
she had wrote in her high school years.
This is what it read:
"I stare at him wishing he was mine;
but he doesn't notice me like that,
and I know it. I want to tell him,
I want him to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love him but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
I wish he would tell me he loved me !
.........'I wish I did too...'
I thought to my self, and I cried.

Ashtey naaa ????

RiSkS

To laugh is to risk being a fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out to another is to risk involvement.
To express feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas, your dreams, before the crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To hope is to risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.

The person who risks nothing,does nothing,has nothing and is nothing.

He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live. Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave, he has forfeited freedom. Only a person who risks - is free.

- Leo Buscaglia

Friday afternoons

then.....

post lunch on Fridays...its just the wait for 5:00 when I could leave to Mysore...I used to wait from afternoon itself for the evening...after 5 long days i would be going to mysore to my HOME :). At 5 its the struggle to get an auto...most of them refuse to come to majestic at that peak hour...but after struggling with 3-4 auto wala's i get one...which takes me to the Majestic Bus stand. There is again a long queue at the Mysore Mallige platform. Lucky will be me..if I find some friend of mine in that looong queue. If the queue is very long and there is nobody whom I know...then I wouldn't mind going by RED bus also. Some bus going to madikeri or chamarajanara will accept me...I get into the bus with a sigh...I think the last hurdle between me and mysore is gone...but no!..thats not the end...that RED bus stops at each and every possible place....and many Mysore mallige buses overtake my RED bus...i envy all the ppl in those buses ...it takes 3 and half hours to reach srirangapattana...after reaching sri rangapattana..i call home..so my father can start to bus-stand to pick me up...from the second bridge of sri-rangapattana it takes 17 mins to reach mysore bus stand. I feel this streach as the longest one..cant wait going home...then i enter Mysore....as the bus approaches bus-stand..i look through the window...for my father ...there he stands :) :) i collect my bag..which is just my laptop bag...get down..and walk towards my father. He would have brought one shawl and scarf for me...:)..then we go towards my home...i tell my father what all happened during that week..abt my office..my friends...and what not....on the way I admire mysore..and ask him about the happenings that week....the journey from bus-stand to my house gets over very fast...at home amma is waiting at the door for me :)....and then we all have dinner together..

I go to bed thiking...what a pleasant friday it was !

Now...

Time has changed....may be ..may be not...but definitely for me fridays have changed...the whole of afternoon I feel sad...I feel sad becoz i cant go to mysore this day .....This is one such friday...i am showing my frustration by blogging...
Now a days i just wonder why this friday comes...I have started hating fridays and weekends..for i cant go to mysore...
I pray that it never becomes evening...for another 2 days i have to stay at home...:(...but time never stops ....it does its job..it will be soon 7 and i head towards home...I dont want to write what i do after going home...becoz it does not interest me.,...
....i go to bed with the feeling...why did i ever get married...for i cant go to mysore on weekends..:(

Me @ RTP

RTP nodidre takshana yen nenpagatte gotta ? Nam Hornadu sringeri nenpagatte. Hornadalli kadina madhya yello office idda hage ansatte ee RTP office.

RTP welcomed me in a strange way.. Cabbin baggage kaldhogittu..RTP ge bandu ildaga :(. I got it later in the day.

Met a lot of interesting ppl here.

One such guy is Aslam.
Aslam saab is very shy and calm person. Ivru namma kannadadavru :) .....nanna band achchukattada kannadadalli mathadisthare :) He is a simple down to earth guy :)

oh...neenu mysore hudgeena anthare :) !!! ee english alli mathadi mathadi saaakagittu..konegu obba kannadadavru...aramgi kannadadalli mathadovru sikru :)

Me at Stanford !

No No! I didn't get admission at Stanford....its just that today I got a chance to visit Stanford university....!!

What a place it is! ee jagakke bandu janma saarthaka aythu annisthu :)....Back in 1997 NIE li CS & E li admission sikkaga ade ond dodda saadhane ansittu...kanasella nansagutte ansittu....evattu illige bandaga...nan kansella nijvaglu colorless ansbidthu!

As soon as you enter the university...the palm drive welcomes you :)

Today was admit saturday...there was a concert from the students of stanford...it was amazing!..the concert was in the Memorial church...they switched off all the lights and then the musicians came one by one holding candles...that moment was tooo gud...cant describe it better with my poor english :). The concert went on for 1 hour...i think i was totally into music for that one hour..!!

One more amazing thing i found at Stanford!....every year whatever each class has done something speical will be buried in a place and marked with the year !...its there from 1852 ..good lord!

Photos as promised!

Aaadisidaata besara moodi....aata mugisida..:(

.....Aadisidaata besara moodi ..aata mugisida.....! a line from the beautiful song " Aadisi nodu Beelisi nodu...." from the movie Kasthuri nivasa. Line looks very apt at this moment. Annavru is no more :(.

He is the first actor I could recognise..my mother is a great fan of Dr. Rajkumar, I remember seeing Bhagyada Lakshmi Baramma...and ..Ondu muttina Kathe...while the former is comeday...the later is serious movie. But our Rajanna was the best fit for both.

I never thought i would be soo sentimentally attached to some actor,...when I heared the news today..i felt really touched. It was 7:30 in the morning when my husband called me to give the news....if i was in karnataka..atleast i could have wathced his last rituals..but here i dont get any news except from the net.

sankranthi

Just came back from Mysore after the festival...sankranthi is one of my favorite festivals...it brings to memories of my childhood...

Preperation for sankranthi starts almost 15-20 days b4 the day...amma begins cutting kobri and bella...drying them...and then comes the most interesting...tuffest part...making sakre achchu...amma does it soo well..i am fond of the "Mango" shaped sakre achachu

....after doing all this she wants me to distribute all this to all her friends,relatives....but i always fight with her...somehow after giving to some 5-6 house my enthu drops :(

when I was a kid..i used to wear Udda reshme langa..and take ellu to all houses...eega i dont go to so many houses...interest has decreased over time..:(

Quotes

Few of my favorite quotes ...

1. Life is a continuous process of adjustment and re-adjustment for the everchanging conditions...
2. Success is getting what you like, Happiness is liking what you get...
3. Its good to be a good loser than a bad winner..
4. I think..therefore I am single..
5. Truth is a function of time..